Here it is folks!! The event you've all been waiting for. The 3000th
Annual Tice-Medellin Thanksgiving Morning MTB Ride. Yes I said 3000th,
the longest running MTB ride in the world!!
While the new Chicago born Pope was searching for a rumored ancient deep
dish pizza recipe that was supposedly stored in the Vatican basement
some previously forgotten ancient texts were discovered. The rough
translations have revealed some interesting facts about past Annual
South Mountain Thanksgiving rides.
Brutus murdering Julius Caesar in the Roman senate to keep him from
becoming emperor. Not So! The dispute was related to clipless pedals
versus platform pedals at a past Thanksgiving ride.
The Roman Empire being divided into two parts to make it easier to
govern. Another misconception. The actual split was due to an ugly
difference of opinion on the merits of full suspension (Western Roman
Empire) versus hard tail (Eastern Roman Empire).
Galileo being tried as a heretic because he insisted that the earth
revolved around the sun. Totally untrue. Galileo was tried because he
insisted that tubeless was superior to tubed wheels (Galileo was a man
ahead of his time!).
And of course we'll have our famous pre-ride activities.
* Watch Rich Chug - always a crowd favorite. Place bets on how long Rich
can chug beer without vomiting. Due to bystander casualties at last
years event we've upgraded our protective dome to 3 ft of reinforced
concrete and 3 inches of armor plating (editors note: Our insurance
carrier has insisted we cancel this event due to a tragic mishap during
a routine analysis of a sample from Rich's digestive tract. They won't
say exactly what happened but there is a smoking ruin where their
research lab was previously located).
* Quiet Time With Bernie - see how long Bernie can remain quiet. This
year our team of crack scientists assures me that they'll be able to
measure the very short times expect in this event. They confidently said
something about using instruments that recently detected "gravity
waves", whatever that means (editors note: After meeting Bernie our
chief scientist has resigned and is now living a monastic life in a
Tibetan monastery high in the Himalayan mountains. Before his vow of
silence he was heard muttering "some things science can not explain").
Back by popular demand the grand prize is a newly "used" tomato kindly
donated by Bernie. These tomatoes are extremely rare. Please be prepared
to handle with care. A lead lined hazmat suit will be provided to the
"winner".
So don't miss out on this event. There's even talk that old man Tice
will make an appearance.
9:00 a.m. meeting at the South Mountain Park parking lot on top of South
Mountain across from the OLD Channel 39 offices. This is a social ride
suitable for all abilities.